How to Be a Boring Friend
If you enjoy not being befriended, here are some sure ways to guarantee you won’t be disturbed often .
1. Wait for your friends or potential friends to make the contact. If you get tempted to make a phone call or send an e-mail, sit yourself down and tell yourself how busy you are, or convince yourself they don’t want to hear from you anyway.
2. If you lose the battle with inner persuasion and end up talking to your friend anyway, keep your voice level and your ideas extra slow. Do not show excitement about anything. That should discourage them from categorizing you as a flake.
3. Tell them everything you know about everything you know and talk a long time without giving them a chance to speak. After all, isn’t having friends about being able to let people know about you?
4. Refuse to ask about them about what is happening in their lives. They’ve managed quite well without you until this moment. Just grab the occasion to unload about the terrible state of politics, taxes, the trash on television, the horrible neighbors you have, and how you really put down a nosey colleague. You might hear a click on the other end, but at least you got a chance to vent.
5. They are bound to find you even more boring if you do not remember their milestones like birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, achievements.
6. Do not pray for them. Praying usually results in becoming empathetic.
I’ll have more suggestions if these do not work for you. But I think this will get you well on your way to be one of the least interesting persons your friends know. Maybe you have some ideas to offer yourself. What do you find boring in people?
(And another thing: Besides being a late starter with cyber stuff, I am also a turtle learner with internet. Right now am stretched to snapping while learning about blogging.)